So it's been a while since I have actually posted but thought today would be a good day to update...and it is a dooxie :)
Things have been tough out west recently. There has been the unsucessful hunt for work thats getting ready to go into its 3rd month and with 2 households you can imagine how fun that is with no unemployment. Jopb turndows have included: "too corporate" when i came to an interview in a tie etc and they were all wearing shorts and sandals.."late" when I stopped to render first aid for a car accident on the expressway (for a non profit medical group), "not techinal enough" when I could not answer a question on home virus removal because I do not get them on my pc and more
I'm having to sue my former employer as my 401k money seems to only exist on my checkstubs. there is no money in my 401k and no record of them ever putting it in there (awesome) which is just less to have to pay bills or whatever.
Obviously no work means no insurance so L's hand needs carpal tunnel surgery and unless i start pulling rabbits out of hats is not going to get done
and to top it off my soon to be 14 year old child (dog) has t cell lymphoma..yup cancer in a dog.. which leads me to wonder whos karma did he step on to have this happen/
Its been a fun path with the child... 3 rounds of chemo so far and experimenting with food and meds.. right now he is getting a mix of gnocchi, soybeans, dries apples.. chicken and tofu mixed in safflower oil which is good for him and keeps his levels good.. the bad part? Cancer is 100% fatal in dogs.. so while he may get a year or two more its going to kill him.. which, for someone who fixes things is the worst failure...something you cannot fix...
I feel the need to chime in. The sick baby, breaks my heart, and watching M feel helpless only adds to the pain. When we adopted Shadow from the pound it was because I wanted a dog like the one with cancer. I love that animal and must say he is the most awesome animal I have ever met, and I love all of our babies. There is simply something about him that is instantly calming. No matter how bad a day is, or what has gone wrong, he puts his head in your lap and it all disappears.
ReplyDeleteLike M I wonder about this karma thing, because he is an sweet loving animal. It makes no sense to me.
As for the thumb injury, yes it is going to need surgery, but I have found a wonderful orthopedic who is working with me to see that it gets fixed and I am hoping to have coverage within a month so the wonderful doctor is taking far less than his regular office calls to keep me as pain free as possible until the insurance kicks in, and he is only inner office documenting it so the insurance can’t get me for a “pre existing”. But still M worries.
I know M wants to go back to school, and yes I know he has bills in two households. My theory however is while things may be tight in our home for a while we can make it and he should go to school, after all he helping out when I was in school. I do not mind cutting back where we can. C however, feels differently, and I believe only wants him to go part time. I am the one who has always believed one should chase their dreams. So not sure where we are all at with that.
But as you can tell with everything going on our blogging has been slow as we handle that life throws at us, but are getting through it all one day at a time. I have faith in the end it will all work out. Well except for our sick baby, there is no happy ending that is going to come from cancer. But with any luck we will get a year or 18 months longer to love him, and keep him comfortable and pain free. It is just hard watching someone you love battle cancer and feel helpless to make it go away.
I don't know what kind of work you do, and had no idea you were out of work, nor do I have a clue as to your age. I worked in the field of jobs, at first signing people up for classes who were out of work but eligible for paid training. Saw some of the worst schools and the worst matches of person to occupation that you can imagine. Then I audited them statewide. Enjoyed it, but the thing is you follow the money. Who wins. The politician who says he brought x jobs to district. No, brought nonsense training at immense cost.
ReplyDeleteIf you are near 40 it is very hard because the ones hiring you are younger and you are an old guy with worn out skills, too slow and too dumb to learn. Lovely. Then you are told you are overqualified. Bullshit. Impossible. You are qualified or you aren't. Often better to act dumber and hire below you and work your way up fast, then get another job while you are still working. Much easier to get a job while working than while unemployed.
Can you teach what you were doing at a trade school? Can you take government funds and open one up? Can you do part time from a temp agency? Had a cousin and a co-worker who made fairly good money correcting papers from elementary school kids on the mandatory tests. Think of anything that might get you out there. Even anything in Vegas that gets you around a lot of people you can talk to.
Now worst thing, your child. We who know how to love deliberately put ourselves in these positions when we know what the outcome will be. You do what you can do until he/she tells you it's time. You don't present an unhappy face. I will be cremated with all the dogs who've gone before and when the last one dies, my ashes shall be combined with theirs and put in a what-do-you-call-it. I think if there is a hereafter, I want them there. What a grand welcome. Ron finds it hard to die because he has no idea what's on the other side. And he remains clammed up about it, unwilling to share his feelings. It makes it very hard on him. I know I must be with my babes again. My love to you.